Struggle

I've been struggling a lot lately. There's a lot I don't understand.
I refuse to give up. My words will keep going to G-d. I will keep talking.
I will keep struggling to do better and grow closer. The more I want it, the more I have to fight for it.

I trust G-d. While I wander in circles in the desert I seek the burning bush, the pillar of smoke, or the pillar of fire, for I know He is calling me and wants to guide me...

Sometimes I close my eyes and cry out "G-d, where are You? I can't see you."
then I will cover my ears and hum as I think "G-d why aren't You talking to me"

I can cover my eyes and ears, but when G-d speaks the ground trembles...
I feel and earthquake coming.