Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Thoughts on Dating

So these thoughts are from my experience and beliefs, I encourage you to pray and seek what G-d's truth is in the matter, as I continue to do so.

People (myself included) seem to date for two main reasons:

1. They are lonely, and want someone to fill this lonely void they have.
2. They have lustful desires and want to vent said desires.

Let's look closely at these.

1. This lonely void needs to be filled with G-d, not other people. We need a relationship with G-d, our souls cry out for it. To fill this void with a boyfriend or girlfriend is a temporary and unsatisfactory solution to a eternal and very critical problem. Relationships (marriage or friendships) will never work without G-d, we need to be strong in our walk with G-d before we take on the responsibility of taking care of another (like marriage demands). People can not fully help us, they are, like you and me, imperfect and will let us down. Seek relationship with G-d.

2. cuddling, nuzziling, holding hands, kissing, making out. All such things come with the territory of dating. Most people find no problem with any, or most of these. But it's pretty plain to see that they are a vent for lustful desire. Lust is a sinful problem that needs to be overcome, with help from G-d, not vented with others, this will just feed the desire. Jesus said to look at a woman lustfully is to commit adultery. How much more cuddling and making out? You do not know that you will marry this person that you currently like. How many failed relationships have you been in? I urge you to abstain from venting you lustfull desires with what will most likely be someone elses wife/husband. Think about the fact that your future wife may be making out with her boyfriend,and thinkof how that makes you feel.

Paul said all things are permissible but not all things are beneficial (1 corinth10) why do something if it doesn't benefit your walk with G-d? Can you honestly say, that your walk has ever benefited from a dating relationship? I can't.

I've also heard it argued "how can you get to know a person to know if you should marry them, without dating?" I think you can know just as much about close friends as someone your dating. I know more about my best friends than anyone I've dated. And you've got to ask, do you really trust G-d? If you do, you don't need to worry, He will bring your mate to you.

These are just a few of the reasons I've come to beleive that dating is wrong for followers of G-d. Focus on G-d, not on this earth and the desires of your flesh.

1 John 2
15 Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 16 For everything in the world—the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does—comes not from the Father but from the world. 17 The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever.

Let me know what you think, and feel free ot ask me anything you want.