People (myself included) seem to date for two main reasons:
1. They are lonely, and want someone to fill this lonely void they have.
2. They have lustful desires and want to vent said desires.
Let's look closely at these.
1. This lonely void needs to be filled with G-d, not other people. We need a relationship with G-d, our souls cry out for it. To fill this void with a boyfriend or girlfriend is a temporary and unsatisfactory solution to a eternal and very critical problem. Relationships (marriage or friendships) will never work without G-d, we need to be strong in our walk with G-d before we take on the responsibility of taking care of another (like marriage demands). People can not fully help us, they are, like you and me, imperfect and will let us down. Seek relationship with G-d.
2. cuddling, nuzziling, holding hands, kissing, making out. All such things come with the territory of dating. Most people find no problem with any, or most of these. But it's pretty plain to see that they are a vent for lustful desire. Lust is a sinful problem that needs to be overcome, with help from G-d, not vented with others, this will just feed the desire. Jesus said to look at a woman lustfully is to commit adultery. How much more cuddling and making out? You do not know that you will marry this person that you currently like. How many failed relationships have you been in? I urge you to abstain from venting you lustfull desires with what will most likely be someone elses wife/husband. Think about the fact that your future wife may be making out with her boyfriend,and thinkof how that makes you feel.
Paul said all things are permissible but not all things are beneficial (1 corinth10) why do something if it doesn't benefit your walk with G-d? Can you honestly say, that your walk has ever benefited from a dating relationship? I can't.
I've also heard it argued "how can you get to know a person to know if you should marry them, without dating?" I think you can know just as much about close friends as someone your dating. I know more about my best friends than anyone I've dated. And you've got to ask, do you really trust G-d? If you do, you don't need to worry, He will bring your mate to you.
These are just a few of the reasons I've come to beleive that dating is wrong for followers of G-d. Focus on G-d, not on this earth and the desires of your flesh.
1 John 2
15 Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 16 For everything in the world—the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does—comes not from the Father but from the world. 17 The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever.
Let me know what you think, and feel free ot ask me anything you want.
4 comments:
I couldn't agree with you more. I didn't date a single person until I heard God tell me I was going to marry Cory. Only then would I enter into a relationship with him. I'm not sure if I see cuddling as venting lustful desires, but I can definitely see making out as venting. Lust is always where we struggled most during our courtship. I have mixed feelings about our experiences in that area though. We were completely committed & knew God had put us together & no one would tear us apart. I don't see marriage as a piece of paper that the government gives you and I don't think that's how God sees it either. Most people would disagree with me on that though...I just know what I believe.
But yea...dating=bad. It just opens you up to disappointment & heartbreak. Who wants that?
I just read in Genesis that Isaac took Rebekkah as his wife. There was actually no piece of paper involved. Of course, this is OT where multiple wives and concubines were part of life. I'm by no means advocating physicalness before the committment of marriage. There is a certain beauty in waiting (lots of songs talk about waiting on God). I know it does alot on a subconsious level for your kids to know you didn't engage in sexual activity before the formal committment.
touchy subject. dating is just a word. people can get all lonely and lustful whether or not they date. and to get to know people without dating encourages a lot of people to 'get to know' lots of people at once. emotional ties all over the place. with or without the term, romantic feelings and the like are always messy. the issue may not be whether we date or not at all, but how wholesome we are in regard to romance, emotional or physical, period.
Yeah, I actually think the biblical marriage is, committing to your wife/husband, making a decision of self sacrifice before G-d, a sort of covenant, that they matter more than you from now on. and sex... because biblical sex=marriage.
I may touch on this more in a later post, but the bible says sex unites two flesh into one.. aka marriage.
no paper or government needed.
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